Writing For the Sake of Writing

Here I am. Sitting in front of my computer, feeling the need to write something before I sleep. I don't know what, but something should come to mind as I type.

There are song stuck in my head, which means I'm going to be singing them all night. It's going to be hard getting to sleep.

Teaching is not hard. Not really anyway. School isn't hard either. Am I just not doing enough, because you would think it should be hard? Maybe things will get tougher later, but right now, not so much. I mean, it's not like I'm not busy... I don't have a whole lot of free time, but the times when I am doing stuff, it's not difficult work.

Elizabeth wants to show my senior project to the class. Crazy. She and I were discussing art related things, and for some reason I wanted her to see my film. After she watched it, she decided that she wanted the class to see it and do some work on it. Is that good? I don't know that I want the whole class to write a paper on MY film. That seems weird, especially since I sit next to these people and talk to them.

I know it sounds strange, but I don't like being put in the spotlight. It's hard not to be when you are the teacher, but when it comes to my own classes, I don't know that I like being singled-out. I'm sure most people feel the same way. I don't think that I'm more special then anyone else, but for Elizabeth to want to show my work and have the class write something on it... it does something to me. I want to be all happy and giddy inside, but I feel bad that I want to feel that way. Is that weird? I think it is.

I've always looked at helping people before myself. Who cares what my feelings are when the people around me don't feel the same way? That's is kind of how I live my life. I want the people around me to feel good, whether I'm happy or not. I know sometimes I should think about myself, but I do get satisfaction from the happiness of others. Life is complicated.

I wrote something for my installation class last week involving one of my favorite memories. I will put it in my portfolio section sometime soon so that everyone can read it. The funny thing was, my group decided to reenact MY memory in artistic expression. Talk about something funny to be a part of. I couldn't stop laughing because I felt so strange. You'll get a better idea of what I'm talking about when you read it. I'll try and get it up tomorrow maybe, assuming I have a few minutes between grading, reading, and writing.

Okay, I've said enough for now. Goodnight...