My New Favorite Quote

"Art school, mostly is like, 90% fakers."

- Jonathon London (Geekdrome), April 24, 2006

I Wanted It So Bad

Feelin' down. Yesterday was my last day of teaching. I've got to finish up all my grading this weekend. Grades are going to be all over the place. Last semester, the grades were pretty middle-of-the-road, but this semester, I'm going to have "A's" and I'm going to have "F's."

I've got all kinds of work to do this weekend, but it's nothing that I want to do. There's many other things that I would rather do; people I would rather see.

I'm trying to work through several things, but it's hard. The whole school and work thing is taking a toll on me, mentally that is. My motivation level is at zero and I don't know how to get that motivation back. I thought the job I worked last week would help, and it did for a time, but it's gone now.

Maybe it's the end of the semester that is killing my motivation. I know that no matter what I do now, I'm still getting kicked out.

I need to figure what I want in my life. I need to do that first before I can figure out where my life is going to take me.

That scares me...

Cookie Alert!

Do NOT eat Grandma's Limited Edition Sugar Cookies!

They taste like ass...

I Don't Really Have A Title

I haven't been motivated lately to write in my blog. There really isn't much to say. I shot the US Open last week which was an interesting experience. I'll have photos up on my website soon as I am going to redesign my website slightly. Since I'm not longer a student, my website is going to take on the form of a commercial site. A few things will be changing and some reorganization is going to happen. Hopefully it will look nice when it's all done.

My apartment is a mess right now. There are boxes everywhere from all the shipments I've been getting (including the books I'm suppose to use to teach next semester with... this is me rolling my eyes).

Yeah, that's about it. There are a couple of other things, but I'd rather talk to people about it then write about it here.

More evidence that sex is good for you

It doesn't take a degree in medicine to work out that sex is good for you. Anything that is free, feels fabulous and leaves you glowing is plainly a good idea. But scientists are now beginning to understand that the perceived feel-good effects of sexual intercourse are merely the tip of the iceberg.

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You Want A Post, Well Here's A Post

Not much to say.

I got my new camera. It's broke. The replacement comes tomorrow. Amazon sure is quick.

The diving shoot is going well. There isn't a lot you can do with it, but I'm trying to find creative ways to shoot it.

My throat is killing me. Ouch. I've been taking stuff, but it's not really working. I hope it's better tomorrow.

I looked damn sexy today. Yeah, that's right.

This Is Great Weather

As much as I don't like rain, this IS the kind of rain I do like. It's a cool rain and it's not too humid. It's really nice to have all the windows open and just listen to the sound. I like it.

Tomorrow I'm heading down to Indy to shoot the 2006 Speedo US Open Diving Championships. The day after I got kicked out of school, my old friend Chris Crabtree calls me up and tells me he has a job for me. How awesome is that? So I'm going to be down there pretty much everyday this week, shooting the divers and documenting the event. I'm pretty excited about it, plus it's going to pay pretty well.

I Guess I'm Too Much of A Radical

"Daniel Rhine

We regret to inform you that as an area we are not able to recommend your continuing status in the MFA graduate program. You possess a unique creativity that we do not feel is being fostered here, and we would be doing you a disservice in keeping you in the program. We feel that while your work is conceptually and formally strong, your attitude, feelings and continually questioning of the direction of our program, our leadership as faculty, and the validity of photography as a fine art make this journey together uncomfortable for all involved.

We wish you well in all future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Faculty, Photography and Related Media"

Sometimes I Wish I Smoked

Maybe it's an OCD thing, but it seems like it would calm me. In between teaching class, I go outside usually to just "get out" for a little bit. Every time I'm outside, I feel that I need to be doing something and smoking comes to mind.

Granted, I am never going to smoke, but it's an idea that had been going through my head recently.

Dreams... Where Did That Come From?

I had a dream last night like no other. It was so surreal. It wasn't a bad dream, it was actually "kind of" nice.

It just hit me when I woke up about how real this dream was. Real feelings, real emotions. I don't know what brought this dream on, maybe it was suppose to be a bit or a release from all the stress I'm in right now; I don't know.

I guess I would say that is wasn't totally a nice dream, but it was better then my life is right now.

All I want to do is sleep...

Mending Fences and OCD

I don't know what is wrong with me, but my OCD has been going crazy for the last week or so. My hands are freaking out and I can't stop doing things. It's annoying the hell out of me. I keep trying to sit on them, but somehow they end up getting away and doing something else.

Maybe it's the stress of everything that is going on. Who knows?

I've been trying to patch things up with some people. I know it's probably too late, but it still matters. This last semester hasn't been good for me and I've made a mess of things with some people. I know there isn't an easy way to fix things just like that, but I've at least have to make an effort. I already hate myself enough, at least by doing this, it might ease my mind a little.

Tomorrow is the review and I've still got a lot of work to do. I need a good night's rest and then it's back to work. Wish me luck!

Nerds Make Better Lovers (Hellooooo Ladies)

Technology aside for a moment. Time to take credit where credit is due. Thank you Glee Magazine. This goes for geeks and dorks as well...

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4:03 AM

This is the fourth night in a row that I have gone to bed this late.

Wow.

I need to get to bed earlier. Goodnight.

Blaurgh

I was going to write something about sappy romantic comedies, but I got busy and lost that feeling. I don't know what I'm planning on saying here. I need to go grocery shopping in a little while. I was going to go last night, but I got into something and lost track of time, but I am definitely going tonight, because otherwise I am going to die.

Tomorrow is going to be a day spent preparing for the review. Getting things together and practicing my presentation. Blah.

Oh yeah, my camera sold for $1,005. w00t! That's pretty awesome. I'm glad I got that much for it. It's really going to help with paying for the new camera. It covers the majority of the cost on the new body. I still don't know what lens I want, but there is a couple that I'm thinking of. They aren't "L" series, but they are nice, and about $500 (vs. $1,200 for "L").

I think that's it for now.

Vermont calling for Bush's Impeachment

Democratic Party leaders in Vermont on Saturday passed a motion asking Congress to immediately begin impeachment proceedings against President Bush.

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Food Poisoning... I Think

So I got really sick last night. It came on quick and it was bad. I was up all night and had to cancel my classes today. I can't figure out what it was, but I'm going to go with food poisoning from Subway. Think I can sue them?

Yeah, I don't know. It was bad. I'm feeling a lot better now, but I'm still a little weak. I need to eat something. I've been getting fluids, but not solids yet. It doesn't help that I don't really have any food here. I need to go grocery shopping.

I still have a headache and a bit of a fever, which I don't know if that is something that is associated with food poisoning. It's only happen one other time, and that was with Burger King several years ago. Guess I'm not going to eat Subway for a while.

It could have been a 24 hour virus, but it definitely felt like a reaction to the food. Blah.

It Sucks Being A Photographer

And I don't mean the job...

I was playing with my AE-1P today, and I remember that I never bought the winder for it and I always wanted it. Well, I started looking around and found it on eBay for about $50. B&H Photo even had it, although they wanted $110. Well, I started doing a little more research, and low and behold, it turns out that there is a motor drive for the camera too.

I always knew there was a winder, but I couldn't remember ever finding that they had made a motor drive too. So again, I head to eBay and I find it. It's going for about $150. B&H had it too, at $220. So now I want it.

Dammit.

It's so pretty and would look so good attached to the bottom of my camera. I've always wanted a motor drive for it. It would look so damn sexy. And yes, I am getting a little horny right now.

Since I'm upgrading to a new digital, I want to upgrade my 35mm too.

It's not like I want a new camera, just a new part for it... :oD

The National Geographic Genographic Project: Trace your ancestory

Pay for the $100 blood kit. send your blood over, and from the millions of blood (dna) they have recieved they can tell you where your ancestors came from and with more and more applying. the precise location down to the village can be traced.

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w00t

My auction is up to over $500! WOOHOO!!!

I haven't written much lately because there are only a couple of things on my mind, one being the graduate review on Monday. I'm nervous about it, mainly because it looks like I'm going to have to get into a lot of theoretical stuff about my work and I'm not sure if I'm going to know enough to do that. I don't want it to become a dear-in-the-headlights kind of thing, but I'm afraid it might.

I guess we are going to know the committee's decision within a couple of days after the review, which is better then expected (that is, I won't have to wait long to find out what I need to do next). I want to stay. I know I have problems here, but at the same time, I don't want to have to start over somewhere else. That doesn't mean I won't think about transferring or something, but I would like to feel at least secure enough to know I don't HAVE to transfer. I guess I'll know in a little over a week.

It looks like everything is coming together concerning buying this new camera, but now the real problem arises; what lens to I buy? I really, really, really, really, really want an "L" series lens, but I don't think I'm going to have the money to get the one I want. I don't want the kit lens that comes with the camera, so I need to find something that is decent and in between.

My biggest concern about the lens is that I want to be able to shoot in low light, meaning I need a large aperture, something around a 2.8 or better. When is comes to lenses, the larger the aperture, the more it costs. Most middle range lenses are in the 3.5-5.6 range. Not having a 2.8 wouldn't be the end of the world, especially since the 30D can handle shooting at 1600 and even 3200 ISO and looks GREATLY improved over my 10D. I'll just need to see what my options are.

Three Things

1. I'm feeling better still... thank you...
   
   
2. This was my fortune from dinner tonight:
   "Two things to aim for in life; to get what you want and to enjoy it."
   
   
3. I'm selling my Canon EOS 10D Digital SLR on eBay to raise money so that I may upgrade to the new Canon EOS 30D... it's pretty. If you are interested or know anyone that is, I'll drop the shipping cost if they're local, even better reason to bid.