Lost

I feel lost and I don't like this feeling. I'm tired of it.

I want...

More Dreams of Lies

Again.

I hate my dreams. I hate that my dreams give me false hope. I hate that my dreams are so real. I hate that my dreams torture me.

Maybe this is why I don't sleep...

It's Still Just Monday

I've started writing up some contracts for my studio. Wedding contracts, model releases, and some other stuff. This is not a fun part of the process.

There's a lot of little things that have to go into the contracts to make sure it's air-tight. As you start writing, you have to keep adding little things until your one-page contract turns into the three-page contract.

That's how I spent my morning.

Also, what the hell is up with this movie with about two people falling in love when they live in different times? I don't get it. I have no desire to see this movie at all, but I am curious to how he justify the premise behind it.

Is it Wednesday yet?... :o\

I Feel the Need To Blog

I didn't like yesterday... too many bad thoughts... played A LOT of Halo...

Today has been slightly better. I went home today and had lunch with the family. Played with Willy for a while... love that dog... ran some errands and now I'm trying to figure out what to eat.

I am also wanting to take pictures right now for some reason. Maybe it's the weather. I mean, it's hot outside, too hot is you ask me, but it's still nice and it could be a good opportunity to take some pictures. Now for the real question; what to take pictures of?

I have no idea. Maybe something will come to me.

I've got my pricing structure set up for my website. I think the prices are fair, but I still want to check with a few people before I commit to them 100%. At least now I have an idea of what to tell people when they ask me how much I charge.

This weekend can't end any faster, can it?

That's A First

I just checked my Verizon Wireless statement, and I am REALLY close to my 400 minute limit for the month.

That has never happened before.

I've come close before, like within 80 minutes or so, but right now, I am like 20 minutes off, and there's still 4 days left in the month. Luckily, the next two are the weekend. Anyway, the point of this story is that, if you need to get a hold of me, do it this weekend, or you are going to have to call after 9:00 PM.

Bad Dream... Well, Good Dream, But Bad After Waking Up

I had a dream last night. The dream itself was actually good.

Then I woke up.

Turns out the dreams was all a lie and I was forced back into the real world. That fucking sucks.

Canon considers halt to film camera development

Japan's Canon Inc.said on Thursday that it would consider halting development of new film cameras as it focuses resources on digital models, the latest sign of the rapidly fading role of film in photography.

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A Post About Something

Don't really know what to write, but I'm bored, so I'll write.

I'm sitting in the "lab", which is really more like a classroom, doing my food study thing. I'm getting paid $175 for three weeks. Not bad. I'm forced to eat a lot of apple products. It alternates between whole apples, juice, and sauce. I've done the whole apples and juice, but not the sauce yet. I'm not really looking forward to that one.

There are a couple of other studies I'm trying to get into. It's easy money, and since I don't have any work right now, it's good to have some kind of money coming in.

That's it for now. More later...

This Is What the Internet Has Come To

Flapjake, Pancake, and Waffle

INSANE Mosaic! Check this out... crazy.

This is crazy. It goes on forever... please. I'm begging you. Check it out...

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Let Me Tell You About Friday

My new phone showed up on Friday. I got home and there was a tag. Ran over to FedEx, picked it up and headed towards Best Buy and the mall to pick up a few things for the phone. I went to the mall first because I wanted to get the car charger for the phone and I knew Radio Shack would have it for cheap.

I went inside (without bringing in my phone... my fault) and asked the girl working there which charger I wanted. She grabbed the one that worked, and I asked her again to make sure this worked with my new phone. She said it did. I go out to my car where I left my phone, tried the charger, and nope; didn't work. I ran back inside and exchanged it, only to find out right before I left that this one didn't work either (I took my phone in this time). It turns out that the charger I needed was a new model that they didn't have yet. She refunded my money and I headed out back to my car.

As I'm walking, I reach into my pocket to get my keys, and... well, they weren't there. I walked up to my car, and of course, my keys were locked in the car. This is the first time I had ever done this. Dammit. I called Robin to get the number of a tow truck to come unlock me (I never had a spare key made). The guys shows up, pops open my door and it costs me $25.

I went to Radio Shack to buy a $10 car charger and ended up paying $25 to have my door unlocked. Dammit X 2.

That pretty much ends that story. I ran over to Best Buy and picked up a 1 GB memory card for the phone. It allows me to take around 2,000 pics on the phone and 24 hours of video (oh, and MP3s as well).

So far, the phone is pretty cool. I like the features. At first it wasn't so great, but after a little tweaking, you can get everything to work out pretty cool like. I also bought a BlueTooth headset for it which is also pretty sweet. So far I'm pretty pleased. Now I'm just waiting to get my USB cable for it so that I can do a few little hacks to the phone.

The camera on the phone is 2.0 megapixels and takes photos at a resolution of 1600x1200 at 150 dpi... not bad. I haven't really take a lot of time with it yet to see what kind of quality I can get. I'll have some photos posted soon on Flickr so that you can take a look. The cool things about having a memory card for the phone means that I don't have to hack into to get the photos like my old phone. I just take the card out, put it in my reader, and download; that simple.

I'm going to be taking a lot more pictures now...

HAHAHAHA!

Check out this website for this new electric razor. This is a REAL product. After the intro is done, make sure you check out the main menu and the options there...

Yawn

Yep. I started Robin's food study today. It's boring. Every 30 minutes, I have to do a series of tests, and then fill out a survey. I do that for about 3 hours. The rest of the day, I have to continue to do the survey, which is kind of annoying, but oh well.

This study only lasts 3 weeks. There are several other studies that I plan on doing. Some last longer; some less. They all pay different amount. Robin's pays $175.00. There is one that I am going to try and do and it pays $750.00. There is one problem with that study though; it takes 21 weeks to complete.

I think the study itself deals with fruit and vegetables, but I'm not exactly sure. I'll let you know more.

Winona Is All Better!

Got my car back today and she is all better. The brakes are smooth like butter. I guess my rear brakes were in the "danger zone" and were about to fail any day. Good thing I got my car in when I did. It's cost just under $415.00, which wasn't too bad. I was expecting it to be more, but at least it was under $500.00.

I'm going to be shooting little league soccer this weekend. It's a job, what can I say? Right now, it's all about expanding my portfolio, regardless of what it is. I don't care what people want me to photography because I'll do it. For one thing, I need the money, but the experience is also a valued asset. It's not even going to be a long job, just a couple of hours... except it's in Muncie, which means about 4 hours of drive time. Oh well, I don't really mind the drive all that much. The big issue is that it might be raining, so if I get there and the games are canceled, that's a lot of driving for nothing.

Right now I have a headache. I've had this headache for a couple of days now, which isn't anything new; I'm somewhat prone to headaches.

I'm going to be doing some research studies with my sister over the next couple of weeks, maybe even months. It pays and it doesn't take a whole lot of time, plus I get free food. Can't beat that...

NEW PHONE!!!

So, I went online today to pay my phone bill, and there was a special "3 day only" sale going on if I upgraded to a new phone. I looked around and saw this awesome phone... FOR FREE!!!

Of course, I upgraded. I couldn't pass up a deal like this. It's not often that you get a $250 phone for free. It's got a 2.0 Megapixel camera and camcorder with OPTICAL zoom. Sweet. It also doubles as a MP3 player which is pretty cool as well (even though I already have an iPod). It should be here in a few days. I'll let you know how I like it.

Samsung SCH-A970

They call it "internet"

An archived newscast, somewhere from the land of the nineties, breaks the story about an emerging technology: they call it "Internet."

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No More "rhine@purdue.edu"

In just about one hour, my contract with Purdue is over and I never have to respond to anything sent to that email address again. To celebrate, I am canceling my forwarding service from Purdue and my Gmail spam box will finally be empty.

You see, for some reason, my Purdue email address has been flooded with spam, and therefore I stopped using it, but once I started back at school, I pretty much had no choice but to start using it again. It's where all my Purdue related stuff went. Anyway, I can finally get rid of it. I'll be sending out a mass email tomorrow explaining this.

Goodbye Purdue and goodbye spam!

Fresh Air

I love my family, but I can't stay more then a few hours with them before my head hurts. And it's not that my headache comes from my family themselves, it's because of the smoke. I can't breathe.

Mother's Day was fine. Lots of good food and the kids playing with the new puppy.

More work to be done, got to get on that.

Website Update

I've got more of my website up and running now. A lot more of the portfolio is up, and I've started putting the page layouts up as well. There is still a good amount of work to be done, but I think it's starting to come together.

Let me know if you have any suggestions or if you notice anything that seems odd, broken, misspelled, etc.

Why I Became A Photographer

I was watching a show on PBS and I suddenly remembered why I wanted to be a photographer:

I wanted to travel.

It's always interesting to look back at your life and to see what decision got you to the place you are now. I wanted to travel the world, going to exotic locations, photographing things people had never seen before. I wanted to meet people and study cultures. I wanted to takes pictures that were romantic (and not in the love kind of way). I wanted to take pictures that made people see the world in a new light; the same way I want to see the world.

It's funny how I forgot all about that once I got into college. College changed me, made me someone I never really wanted to be. Not once in the last six years have I thought about this. I was too busy trying to take the photos and make the projects others wanted me to make. I stopped holding on to the "why."

I very much want to get in my car right now and head out into the world; out into nature. I had dreams of working for National Geographic and being sent all over the world on assignment. What happened to that dream?

Purdue killed it, that's what.

This is almost like a breath of fresh air. I'm remembering my passion, why I got into photography in the first place. It's great to feel this way again. I think I'm happy...

I Hate Credit Card Companies

I think the title says it all.

I went to pay my credit card bill today when I noticed a huge finance charge. I called up the company to find that my interest rate was at 27%. Jesus Christ! I got the run around for a while, trying to figure out why it was so high and how I could get it lowered. About a hour later of being on hold, I finally got the old line "I'm sorry, there is nothing we can do for you at this time."

I said "thank you" and told them I would be taking my business elsewhere.

My new credit card has an APR of 10%. Yeah, that's right, 10 FUCKING %. And 0% on balance transfers for the first 12 months.

It's all a big game what these credit card companies do. I really hate having a credit card, but at least now I'm not going to be paying so much out the ass.

Goodbye Providian. It's been... well... shitty...

Bad Dreams

That is not a good way to wake up to.

The worst kind of nightmares are the ones that are "real." It's not the one with monsters and serial killers; it's that kind that could actually happen.

It seems that recently (in the last six months or so) that all my nightmares have been this kind. You know what? I'm getting fucking tired of having dreams like these. Maybe it's just something where as you grow older, the monsters don't scare anymore and your mind has to find some other way to make you feel worse.

What A Fucking Cunt

That's all I have to say right now. Nice way to use my 300th post...

Really Good Sunday

I had a great Sunday. How was yours?

Monday will be filled with errands. LOTS of errands. I've got to catch up on a bunch of stuff today and I need to buy a couple of things. Grades are done and I need to go turn those in. It's not going to be pretty.

Not much else to say now.

EDIT: I forgot to mention, Robin got a new puppy yesterday. His name is Willy and he's 7 weeks old. I took some pictures and will have those posted soon, probably later today.

2:04 in the AM

And I have a couple of things to say.

For starters, I am not tired and probably not going to fall asleep for quite some time...

Damn.

Second, I am no longer going to be using AOL Instant Messenger if I can help it. As I grown older, I have found that I barely use the program anymore and even when I do, I just don't feel like sitting at my computer talking. A conversation is based on much more then just words. I used to hate talking on the phone, but now I feel I need to hear a person's voice (that is, if I'm having a REAL conversation). Email works just fine for what AIM use to accomplish (so does Facebook, MySpace, Flickr, even this blog... there is a comment section, you know).

What else... lets see...

I know I had something else I wanted to say, but it's kind of lost on me. Oh well, time to lay here for about an hour or two before I get to a point where I might be able to sleep.

Damn.

Update

Just a quick update about my website. Things are coming together slowly but surely (emphasis on the slowly). I don't know how am I ever surprised that is takes this long to put a website together. Every design that I've gone through, it takes some serious work before the things is fully functional.

I've got a good structure in place, so now it's just a matter of getting the content ready and throwing some pages designs together. I figure that at this pace, I should have all the important stuff up and running early next week, so keep checking back.

Grades are due on Tuesday. I haven't finished putting my students together yet, so I'm probably going to work on that throughout the weekend.

I really want to get out and shoot with my new camera. I've had it for about two and a half weeks now, and I still haven't done any major shooting with it yet (unless you include the diving shoot, but that was for a job and not my own work). It's suppose to be a nice weekend, so if I get a chance, I'm going to go out and shoot.

I've got a list of things that I want to try. I've seen a couple of sites talking about HDR photography, which is really just a fancy way of exposing for you highlights and shadows and then combining two images to get something that looks a little bit surreal. There are a couple of other things too that I'm interesting in trying, but they escape my mind right now.

Oh, and btw, little is on my mind right now.

I'm such a dork...

Dot Dot Dot, Or Something Like This...

I haven't written anything in a while; haven't been feeling it.

The semester is over which means the end of my academic career for the time being. I'm trying to figure out my next move. I'm going to start the long job search soon (and school search). I've said before how much I hate not knowing what the future holds, and that goes double right now. I wish I had even the smallest amount of an idea where my life is going to be in three months, but I don't.

There's a lot more that I want to talk about, but this isn't the forum for it...