Only the Lonely

I'm really feeling lonely today. I hate this feeling. It's like I'm empty. I feel incomplete. It probably doesn't help that I'm reading through converstations with an old sorta/could have been, girlfriend. I just don't feel right. I can't make this feeling go away, and the more I think about it, the worse this feeling gets. It's a pit and it's a void that I don't know how to fill. It's never ending and it won't go away. I am lost. I am sad. I'm pathetic. God, I hate these thoughts! My mind is my own worst enemy. It controls everything I do, but can't stop making me feel worse. It's a screaming voice in a crowd of thoughts. I am alone. It hurts so much that sometimes I want to cry (but don't get me wrong, I'm a guy, and guys don't cry). I can't shake it. It's there with me when I wake up and it's there when I go to sleep. It's a feeling that has been there for a while. And it's not so much that I'm lonely in the sense that I NEED somebody; it's something else. I don't know if it's the feeling of wanting a family (in the sense of a wife, two and a half kids, dog, house and a white picket fence), just wanting to be with someone, or something else... but it's there. I don't think it helps that I've been working so many weddings lately, seeing these people starting their lives. I want that. I want something/someone/someplace that I know is mine. I've never had that... It's really been hard today. I'm depressed now. My mind gets me worked up like this from time to time. I shouldn't feel like this. It's not right and I can't stand it. I'm nothing more then a shadow of myself right now. I don't see where I'm going. I'm scared and I'm alone...